i feel mean

I feel horrible about today and tonight.  I got so angry/sad/upset/frustrated with her today and I honestly hated every minute of it.  Bedtime could not come fast enough, I just did not want to be with her.  I wish so much that I had family here that I could drop her off at.  Thank god for daycare tomorrow, it’s only 8-noon, but it’s something.  I cannot explain how much I look forward to Tuesdays and Fridays (daycare days)  Is it horrible that I feel that way?  I really would like to put her in daycare a few more days a week.  I think it may be best for both of us.  I really hate to say it, but she is driving me  crazy!!!  Today I had to go into my closet and scream and all I could think to myself is this is a 2 year old that is doing this to you.  How are you allowing her to do this?  She’s 2.  I have to teach her.  I don’t know how to teach her when she doesn’t seem to hear or listen or take in anything that I say.  Is this normal behavior for  a 2 year old?  I’ve talked to a handful of friends and not one of them have gone through what I do on a daily basis, crazy?  Is it me?  Am I doing something wrong?  Am I worrying too much?  Making a big deal out of nothing?  I don’t think so, but I would right?

Going to bed, really really really really really really really really really really hope tomorrow is better.


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